Face, Politeness, and Power

E-learning week, how interesting the human species have developed technology and learning modes.

Although I went through this lecture at home, I found myself intrigued by the topic. I always thought politeness is merely something imbued from upbringing and tradition and would be hard to articulate in clear terms as the topic itself is subjective in nature.

In particular, politeness and context appealed to me as the most interesting part of the topic.

On reflection, I notice that we often use polite language for the sake of polite language. Of course, offence may still be taken if one rudely interrupts a conversation or request an item. However, I find that polite language has actually lost its meaning. Take for example, MRT rides. On numerous occasions, I find myself being shoved aside with "excuse me" being used as a verbal recompese for the indiscretion purporsively extended. Another example is when we do shopping or just merely browse through products that we may or may not intend to buy. Often, the shop attendants would announce their intention to assist but the question I ask myself is, What if I announce my intention not to buy anything as yet without the nice flowery language? Would I be considered more rude to lie and cause the attendent to waste his time on me or be more forthcoming with my intentions?

If the purpose of politeness is to minimize rude behaviour, then on what basis does one measure what constitutes rude? Taking the situational context, how one perceives the situation and hence the language used is based on the norms and upbringing of the individual. Social context in terms of relativeness of the individual to another group or individual is similarly based on how one percive his or her relation to the other party.

Take for example, a recent case whereby a old cleaner uncle told off a prime minister of a small country when the prime minister commented on his willingness to work even at a old age beyond that of normal retirement. In this case, the old cleaner uncle perceives his social standing as irrelevant to the position of the prime minister. In some cultures, it is even rude to treat a person different based on his or her social standing. What I am trying to say is that politeness ought to be used only when truly intended to be nice for the sake of individual respect for the other individual regardless of any other context.

Take the aforementioned case, the uncle could have told the prime minister tactfully he would rather not be working, using tact not because the other individual is of a higher social standing but of genuine respect for an likeminded flawed human. On the other hand, the prime minister may not be rude in his direct use of language, but rude in the sense that the content of his language may be deemed as offensive to some. As such, what could have been said to the old uncle is to ask out of genuine concern how is the state of health and ask what are the common things that the old uncle faces in his old age.

Differences ocur in society, but the need to minimize tensions need to be investigated. Is it for the grater good for self or greater good of others. That is the question I ask myself often when I ananlyse societal norms.